Devoid of Color
by waterxslayer
Summary: At age fourteen, Hatake Kakashi never imagined himself to be saddled with parenthood to a pink haired baby with very green, very eerie, very blind eyes.
1. Chapter 1: Transparent

Author's Note: After many years of just lurking and reading on this site, I decided to try my own hand at writing a fanfiction of my own. Since this is my first attempt, I apologize if my story is not up to par.

Warning: If you are looking for heavy plot action or romance, look elsewhere please. This is a slice of life fiction, with heavy emphasis on the concept of family. What I'm hoping to go for is "The Feels." If I have achieved this, then yay me.

In addition, this is an alternate universe, or alternate reality. To be honest, the world of Naruto according to Kishimoto doesn't really make sense to me, so I made some tweaks here and there by right of creative license. Some things will be the same, others will be different. However, I will try to stay as consistent as I can.

This is also un-beta'd. I tried proof reading this myself before posting, but I apologize for any mistakes I might've missed. I'm only human, you know.

Without further ado, here is the story.

Standard disclaimer applies, including London Tipton's signature phrase.

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Chapter One: Transparent

The mission was a failure.

In itself, the mission was a bit of an oddity. But Inu (Hound) raised no questions when he received the mission scroll from the Yondaime. Instead, he went straight home to pack and met up with the rest of his currently assigned squad at the main gates. As soon as everyone arrived, the four Anbu Black Op members sailed through the forest.

The scenery before him displayed a mess of splintered wagons, shattered goods and decapitated bodies all arranged in disarray.

It was strange, Inu mused, to send a full Anbu squad to act as hired escorts to a family of mere merchants. Despite the fact that it was ranked as an S-class mission and that the family was wealthy enough to afford it. That was what made the mission so odd. Usually, S-class meant assassinations or infiltration, and simple escort missions were beneath their skill set. A simple squad of Jounin or even Chunin would've sufficed.

They had arrived too late.

The strangest thing of all was that the merchants were from _Kirigakure_, and it's not as if Kiri was lacking any capable shinobi to carry out this mission themselves. But the Yondaime wasn't so foolish as to accept a mission that would start a war just after Konohagakure had finally gotten out of the Third Great Shinobi War, so Inu decided to trust his Hokage's judgment. He wasn't that interested in politics anyway.

Inu swept a calculating gaze across the destruction with his good eye. Someone had already attacked their clients before his squad even managed to meet them at the rendezvous point. This mission was doomed from the start.

He noticed the rest of his squad making their way to the debris, a vain attempt to find anything salvageable. The massacre of this particular Kiri family of merchants and their goods was complete. But he didn't miss the way his squad mates moved, deceptively relaxed, yet aware that the merchants' killers could still be around, waiting to attack them as well. The blood flowing from the ground was too new to suggest otherwise.

Closing his right eye, he opened his left to once again scan the area; this time, a closer inspection on any tell-tale signs that enemies may still be nearby.

_There._

A demolished wagon a few meters to his left shifted ever so slightly, unperceivable to the naked eye, but the Sharingan misses _nothing. _Gripping his tanto in his right hand, Inu leaped and landed lightly in front of the ruined cart.

All movement stopped, as his squad became aware of his actions. Three pairs of eyes hidden behind porcelain masks observed their squad mate, and they too reached behind them to grab onto their tantos.

Inu ignored them in favor of listening to muffled sounds coming from below the wagon. Silently, he wrapped his left hand beneath the wooden cart and slowly lifted to discover a corpse of a woman face down beneath it; the muffled noise and movement coming from below her. The enemy must've been hiding underground. Stealing himself, Inu pushed the corpse aside and swung his dagger at the enemy, only to halt his actions when he realized that the person beneath the corpse was no enemy. It was a baby.

And freed from the corpse that muffled it, the baby _wailed_.

The deceptive silence of the mist around them shattered, and without thought, Inu scooped the crying infant into his arms and shot through the clearing, intent to get away from there. He could see the rest of his squad following him in his peripherals. No one exchanged words or secret hand signals. The message was clear: the cry was too loud, the clearing was no longer safe, and enemies may come for them soon.

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Traveling at full speed and carrying an infant was awkward. Sprinting while simultaneously trying to keep the said baby quiet didn't help matters much. So Inu was quite grateful when his squad leader signaled that a break was in order.

Escaping that clearing after the baby cried was not easy. In less than fifteen minutes, the Konoha Anbu were being chased by a whole squad of Kiri Hunter-Nin. The fact that they were Hunter-Nin raised alarms in the back of Inu's mind, because Kiri sending a whole squad to kill a family of their own native merchants, and Hunter-Nins no less, made absolutely no sense. But Inu had squashed that thought to focus when one of the enemy ninja charged at him.

Fighting the Kiri-Nin was difficult, especially so because of the baby cradled in his left arm. Also, Inu was no idiot and knew the repercussions that his mission would have for Konohagakure should any of the Hunter-Nins survived. They had seen the tell-tale marks that indicated that his squad was from Konoha. Should any of them survive and report back to the Mizukage, another war might come into play. So Inu hadn't fought to survive, he fought to kill. And he had full confidence that the rest of his sempais did so too.

Of course, Inu also couldn't use any techniques that would identify him as the killer once more Kiri-Nin found the Hunter-Nin's corpse, so he couldn't have killed his enemy as quickly as he would've liked. And using jutsus with a baby on board might not be the sanest idea. But Inu wasn't hailed as a genius for nothing, and his Sharigan allowed him to see through his opponent's movements, and so with simple kenjutsu, he had been able to slay his enemy in a matter of minutes.

Inu hopped down the scraggly tree that he was currently residing on and landed lightly on his feet. The sickly white trees of Mizu no Kuni (Water Country) were nothing like the healthy, green and lush ones of Konohagakure. Combined with the mist, trees and recent events, Inu couldn't shake off the ominous vibe that Kiri was emitting.

A gurgle brought him out of his thoughts, and Inu turned his attention to the passenger in his arms. This was the first chance he had gotten to study the infant in his care and the first thing he noticed was that she had pink hair. Or he hoped that the baby was a she. No male deserved to suffer the life of having pink hair. So for the sake of the baby, he assumed that the infant was a she.

The next thing Inu observed was the infant's eyes. They were green, thus giving the baby a very strange coloring, but he also noticed that a milky film seemed to be covering them; signifying that the infant was blind. How unfortunate, Inu mused, blind at birth, and only a few days after conception she already became an orphan. But alas, that is the way of the Shinobi world, he supposed. Suffering was a concept that no one was too young to learn.

"It is time to return to the mainland and report back to Hokage-sama to inform him of the loss," Inu's Captain's, Osuushi (Ox), voice broke through the silence. "We would have to take a boat just like before; however, this time we do not have the luxury of sneaking in because we have another variable." He gave a meaningful look towards the infant in Inu's arms, and the squad gave a sharp nod of understanding.

He continued, "We will have to use Henge no Jutsu (Transformation Technique) to disguise ourselves as civilians. Since the boat is manned with only civilians, as this country has a strong distrust of shinobi, we do not need to fear being caught. However, I am sure that I don't need to remind you to never drop your guard."

Osuushi paused, no doubt to drill the warning home_. Law of Shinobi #8: A Shinobi must never drop his guard and must always stay alert. _The silence dragged on for a few moments longer until the Captain deemed it appropriate to continue. "We will disguise ourselves as simple civilians who want to visit their relatives in Nami no Kuni (Wave Country). I will pose as the father, Nousagi (Hare) will be the mother, and Taka (Octopus), Inu and the variable will be our children. We will become the Miura family. For your Henge, transform into someone nondescript, easily forgettable."

He paused once more and gave a slight nod towards the infant. "As a precautionary measure, it will be best to use Henge on the variable as well."

Ah, so the Captain had also noticed the girl's strange coloring. Inu gave a quick nod before performing the simple jutsu. Everyone, including himself and the baby girl, transformed into characterless, black haired and black eyed Mizu no Kuni natives. A nod from the Captain, no, _Father, _and the Miura family walked the remaining three miles to the bay.

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"Jiro-kun, could you pass your sister over to me please?"

Miura Jiro looked up from his book to his mother and glanced at the infant sister he was still carrying. His mother was sitting at the foot of the cot he was currently perched on. Carefully, he shifted towards her and handed over his smiling sister to their mother's coaxing arms. His mother smiled, revealing the crooked teeth that indicated the common status of their family. Only people of status had perfect teeth.

As soon has Jiro withdrew his hand from his sister, the baby wailed. Startled, his eyes shot up too meet his mother's. His mother gave an understanding smirk and offered his sister back to him. Reflexively, he received the baby, but it was awkward. Holding a baby was unfamiliar, now that his mind had time to process his body's actions as they were no longer controlled by instinct. His mother chuckled, "It looks like my baby daughter became attached to her older brother."

Jiro frowned at that and as he looked down at his sister who was awkwardly cradled in his arms, and he couldn't help but feel how wrong that was. Her cries transformed into giggles and the crease in between his brows deepened in confusion. Babies shouldn't grow an attachment to him. He was a murderer with so much blood on his hands, even the blood of _infants_. He had killed countless of others her age, and because of his gift, he remembered every single one. She shouldn't be attached to him; she should be afraid of him.

A pair of hands wrapped around his face broke Jiro out of his contemplation. Coal black eyes softened in empathy and Jiro realized that Mother must've noticed his expression and understood. After all, Mother had killed even more infants than he did. Her lips quirked up slightly and she breathed a sigh out of her nose.

"It's okay, it's okay, it's okay," she whispered repeatedly, until Jiro's stiff shoulders loosened and his grip on his sister was no longer tense. "Although we may be the cause of suffering for others, it is because we must, and not that we will it. Therefore, we are not monsters because we could be good too. And today, because of you," an index finger with a chipped nail poked the center of his chest and rerouted itself to stroke his baby sister's cheek, "this little one will live."

The baby giggled at the touch and wriggled around, reaching with tiny hands as an attempt to catch the offending digit. Jiro silently observed his mother interact with his sister, letting the words that were spoken sink in.

"She's so precious," his mother cooed, and Jiro's own charcoal orbs softened. Maybe Mother was right. Maybe he wasn't a monster, he wasn't a constant failure, and he could save lives of those that matter too. But Mother didn't know. His gaze darkened, and his shoulders were once again becoming rigid. He became uncomfortable with the prolonged physical contact of the baby and the close proximity of the woman beside him. "Mother" thought that he was a _good _boy, but she didn't know; she didn't know that the blood of those that he held dear were on his hands too. He truly was a _monster_.

A baby bottle covered his vision, pulling Jiro out of his dark musings. His mother was smiling again, her inky orbs twinkling with mischief. "It's about time we fed the little one, don't you think?"

Jiro blinked. Ah, his mother must've stolen that bottle from another passenger. Mother always did have a bad case of sticky fingers. She gave him a knowing wink and the smile on her face turned sly. "So tell me Jiro-kun, have you ever fed a baby before?"

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"Ah, so the Haruno family was annihilated by Kirigakure's Hunter-Nin before you could even meet at the rendezvous point, and the only one to survive is this infant?"

"That is correct, Hokage-sama!" Usuushi replied.

"That is rather… unfortunate," Konohagakure's own Yondaime uttered, his face pensive. Placing both palms on his desk before him, he heaved a sigh. "Alright, there's nothing else we could do. This mission could be stated as a failure, but the objective of this mission was to safely escort the Haruno family from Mizu no Kuni to here. And she," he pointed at the baby still cradled in Inu's arms, "is a part of the Haruno family, and she is here. Thus, this mission will be declared as a partial success in your records."

"Yes sir!" the squad of Anbu dutifully replied.

The Yondaime stared at each operative in the eye before he continued. "Nevertheless, good job everyone. You are all dismissed, except for Inu and the infant. I need a word with you, if you don't mind."

"Sir!"

Inu nodded and stayed rooted in place while his senpai's gave the Hokage the soldier's salute and disappeared out of the building. His eyes never left his Kage's face.

After confirming that it was only those three that were in the room, the Yondaime returned his gaze to the remaining Anbu operative and smiled. "Kakashi-kun."

With practiced ease, a hand shifted the porcelain mask off of Inu's face to the side of his head. And as the mask came off, the thirteen year-old shinobi was no longer, Inu, but Hatake Kakashi. He returned the greeting to the man before him. "Sensei."

His ex-sensei smiled in response. Then his expression turned a tad impish and Kakashi instantly grew slightly uncomfortable. "I see that this mission had been particularly interesting for you, Kakashi-kun."

The silver haired teen glanced off to the side, avoiding his Hokage's gaze. "So it seems."

Ocean blue eyes glanced down at the small third party in the room. "From the reports, I read that she grew attached to you. That she simply refused to let anyone who wasn't you, hold her."

Kakashi grimaced slightly. "I have no idea why."

Minato laughed, obviously enjoying his ex-student's discomfort. Kakashi scowled at the laughing man.

"You should feel flattered, Kakashi-kun. Personally, I find this very endearing."

The scowl grew bigger, although it was hard to see since it was covered by a cloth mask. But Kakashi knew that his ex-sensei knew that it was there.

Taking pity on the grumpy teen, Minato sobered. "You realize that she would have to be put into the orphanage."

Without missing a beat, Kakashi nodded, making Minato pause. He gave his ex-student a slight smile and joked, "I guess you're not attached to her as she is to you, huh."

Kakashi gave him a look. What a stupid question. Getting attached to a mission client was against the rules. _Law of Shinobi #10: Under no circumstance should a Shinobi grow partial to a mission client. Partiality will only hinder a Shinobi's judgment._

"Always one to follow the rules, aren't you, Kakashi-kun?" The blonde man sighed, shaking his head slightly before smiling again. "But like I always tell you, rules don't always have to be followed. There are times when one must simply adapt them."

Kakashi gave a slight nod; he heard this from his ex-mentor's mouth many times before. He waited for the blonde man to continue.

"Anyway, as I've stated, the mission client needs to be put into the orphanage. But none of the mission reports state her name. Were you able to find anything from the Harunos' belongings to indicate her name?"

The teen shook his head. "By the time we arrived, nothing was salvageable. And as soon as we discovered the infant, we had to escape immediately."

The Hokage gave a slow nod, absorbing the words. Smiling, he made another inquiry. "In that case, why don't you name her then?"

"Me?" Came the startled reply. Kakashi wasn't expecting such an offer at all. A wide open grey eye gawked at smiling soft blue ones before sliding down to glance at unseeing green ones. "Why me?"

"You're the one who found and rescued her. Besides, since she has an attachment to you, I believe she would be honored to be named by you. So, what do you say, Kakashi-kun? What do you want to name this little Haruno?"

For a few seconds, Kakashi's mind blanked. Never in his fourteen years did he think that he would ever name a child. He observed the baby in his arms, the infant he carried and took care of throughout the travels from Mizu no Kuni to Konoha. He took in the pink hair and the green eyes, and instantly, he knew what to name her. He cringed slightly at the unoriginality but decided that he didn't care. He never claimed to be creative anyway. Satisfied with himself, he gave a name. "Sakura."

"Sakura," his ex-sensei parroted. The blonde stepped around his desk to stand directly in front of the teen and infant. Stooping down to brush a long finger along the baby's porcelain cheek, he smiled. "Welcome to Konohagakure, Haruno Sakura."

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Author's Note: Your thoughts anyone?

If I get enough reviewers believing that this is worth continuing, I will try my best to update soon, even though I am aware that this is probably more like a prologue more than anything. But if it captivates anyone's interest, I will be happy to oblige. However, I will not appreciate (and I'm pretty sure no writer does) any reviews that simply demand that I update. That is highly inconsiderate and rude of any reviewer. One should always ask nicely.

Anyways, as a first time writer, I would love to see your guys' opinions! Thanks!


	2. Chapter 2: Dark Spring Emerald

Author's Note: Oh wow, I never realized how reviews could affect the author. Even though they weren't many, I was still encouraged by them, and they made me want to update faster! But at the same time, I'm a bit apprehensive because now there's so much pressure to not disappoint! I apologize if I do.

Warning: I love pairings. Just like most people on this fandom, I'm a shipper. And KakaSaku is one of my favorite pairings. But at the same time, a father/daughter relationship between the two always interests me too, but there isn't that many stories revolving around that out there. So I decided to give it a try. Also, while on the topic of pairings, this story will be mainly a gen fic. So far, I have no pairing planned, and I don't really plan too, so sorry if you wanted to see your favorite ship here. However, I am interested to know your guys' ships, so feel free to tell me in your reviews!

Also, this story is going to be _slow, _as it will mostly focus on relationship build ups between characters, because those are fun for me to read. I apologize if the pacing is too slow for your liking, but I will not change it.

This is unbeta-ed, and again, I try my best to proof read, but I may not catch everything. I am human after all.

Without further ado, here is the next chapter.

Standard disclaimer applies.

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Chapter Two: Dark Spring Emerald

"Have you been visiting Sakura-chan recently?"

Hatake Kakashi was in the Hokage tower, finishing reporting to the Yondaime of his recent mission success. A solo A-ranked mission at Cha no Kuni (Tea Country): a simple assassination of the Daimyo's brother-in-law, assigned by the Daimyo himself.

He blinked at the question, taken aback by its suddenness. The silver-haired teen shook his head.

The Yondaime frowned in a chastising manner. "Then was the last time you saw her the day you dropped her off at the orphanage?"

Kakashi nodded, the memory of that particular event playing through his mind. It made him uncomfortable, because the most prominent thing he could remember was the baby girl's wails when he handed her off to the matron of Konoha's trusty orphanage. He was still able to hear her sobs even after he had walked a good distance away from the place. An infant's cries always did manage to unsettled him.

Resting his elbow on the desk before him, the Hokage leaned his chin onto his palm. "You know, I visited the orphanage recently."

"Oh, did you now?" Kakashi inquired, raising a silver brow.

"I did." The blonde man replied with a swift nod. "Children are the future of Konohagakure, and orphans have lost much due to this village. Most become orphans due to our shinobi unable to protect their parents at the time, or like you, come from a family of ninja that are now all deceased. As Hokage, it is my duty as the representative of this village to make sure that all the orphans are well cared for. We owe them that much."

Kakashi hummed a noncommittal response to show that he was listening. He didn't really see the point of this conversation though.

"Anyway," the Yondaime shook his head to clear his thoughts. "As I was saying, I visited the orphanage the other day. And I got to see little Sakura-chan!"

The blonde smiled fondly at the memory. But for the life of him, Kakashi didn't know why his ex-sensei was bringing this up.

The Hokage frowned slightly. "I wanted to make sure that she was adjusting to her new home well, but I never got to see her smile throughout my whole stay. She would only snivel now and then, shedding tears at times too, and the matron told me that that was a common occurrence for her. And if I remember correctly, the only times she would cry during that particular Kiri mission was when she got separated from you."

The blonde's lip quirked up. "I guess she's still attached to you, Kakashi-kun."

The teen's visible eye narrowed. He didn't like where this conversation was going.

"Why are you telling me this?"

Minato-sensei gave a contemplative smile in response. "It's always good to create new bonds, Kakashi-kun."

The teen didn't reply, becoming slightly irritated. Kakashi didn't want to make new bonds, because he wasn't worth it. Those who got close to him tend to always get hurt, or in some cases, _die._

Silence reigned over the room, as ex-student and mentor stared at each other, eye to eyes. A deep understanding ran through them, even though they shared different sentiments.

Suddenly, Minato-sensei's expression broke into a smile, his ocean blue eyes shimmering with affectionate warmth. "Come have Ichiraku's with Kushina and me, Kakashi-kun. The three of us hadn't gathered in a while, and we have something we want to share with you."

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Hatake Kakashi had no idea what he was doing here. He was currently perched on a branch of a tree that overlooked one of the windows of Konoha's orphanage. The window belonged to a room that held the orphanage's infants, but that still didn't explain why he was there.

_It's merely curiosity_, Kakashi reasoned, as he silently slid the window open and slipped inside. Closing the window behind him, he made his way through the room full of cribs, immediately regretting his decision to be there upon realizing that this enclosed space had way too many babies than he was comfortable being in the vicinity of. He turned to leave, but halted when he heard sniffling.

_It's merely curiosity_, Kakashi repeated mentally. His ex-sensei's speculation of the little Haruno still having an attachment to him had sparked an interest within him. He was here to satisfy his curiosity, and _nothing more._

Following the sound of the sniffles, the silver-haired teen silently stalked towards the source. Just a few steps and Kakashi immediately located and identified the tufts of pink hair. Just like Minato-sensei said, Sakura was continuously crying.

_It's merely curiosity_, Kakashi repeated again, as he leaned over her crib and reached out towards the sniveling infant. Before his hand made contact however, the baby's mouth split into a two-toothed grin and she reached with both hands towards him, cooing all the while. Kakashi automatically recoiled and stared at the infant in disbelief.

How did she know that he was here? He didn't even touch her, so how could she have known? And how could she have known that it was _him?_ It's been two months since the last time they've seen each other, surely, this ridiculous attachment should've disappeared. What the hell was this supposed to mean?

Sakura was still stretching her tiny hands toward him, articulating her desire to be carried, but Kakashi ignored her. He took a few steps back, observing her expression. As the distance between them increased, Sakura's giggles morphed into cries and her little arms frantically reached out for him. But after a few moments of scrutinizing, Kakashi decided that he didn't care. He turned and opened the window that served as his entrance.

_It was merely curiosity, and nothing more. This doesn't _meananything.

Kakashi escaped the suffocating room that was no longer quiet as Sakura's cries escalated into wails. He shut the window close, effectively silencing her to him. The teen leaped back onto the branch he previously resided and ran as fast as he could to increase the distance between him and Sakura.

_This doesn't mean anything._

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"Here you boys go, two Miso Ramens, served hot and fresh!"

"Thank you so much, Teuchi-san," Minato-sensei smiled appreciatively, while reaching for his bowl of noodles from the chef. Kakashi grunted in gratitude as he received his.

"No problem, it's always a pleasure to serve my faithful customers," Teuchi replied, before giving a teasing look at the empty seat behind the Yondaime. "Speaking of faithful customers, where is your wife?"

Minato-sensei's face bloomed into an impressive shade of red. He sputtered a bit before he composed himself enough to give a reply. The concept of wife was still new to him.

"She is visiting the Uchiha's Clanhead to congratulate him on his second son. We were there together, but she stayed behind to talk to Mikoto-san. She will be with us shortly."

"Is that so? Many blessings to the Uchihas, then." Teuchi hummed while rubbing a dirty cup with a wash cloth. He withdrew to the backdoor and flashed a smile at his two customers. "I'll tell Ayame-chan to prepare the usual for Kushina-chan."

Minato-sensei smiled at the retreating man and was about to return his attention to either his food or to his ex-student, Kakashi couldn't really tell, because he was suddenly interrupted by Kushina bursting through Ichiraku's flappy entrance and swooning to the seat beside her husband.

"Sasuke-kun is so cute!"

Minato-sensei responded to her declaration by flashing his wife a smile while Kakashi gave her a grunt as a greeting. Kushina's dazed expression turned catty and her obsidian eyes glanced at her husband in a sly way.

"Ne, ne, guess what, Minato-kun?" The redhead inquired, nudging her elbow in her husband's ribs all the while. Kakashi could feel the giddiness coming off of Kushina in waves and didn't really know if he wanted to know why. The woman continued, oblivious of the teen's disinterest and her husband's winces. "Mikoto-chan and I were talking about how great it would be if our sons became friends. They're going to be the same age, so they just have to be! Wouldn't that be wonderful? Like a friendship forged from destiny or something, dattenbane!"

Ah. Minato-sensei and Kushina are going to have a son that's the same age as the Uchiha's Clanhead's second son. Uchiha Sasuke was born just recently meaning Kushina is…

Wait, what?!

Kakashi's head swiveled and he gaped at the couple beside him with a wide eye. His lone grey eye scanned Kushina's figure and he noticed a small, but still a rather tell-tale bump on the redhead's stomach.

The couple laughed, and his ex-mentor patted him on the head. Kakashi gave the blonde man a disgruntled look.

"That's right Kakashi-kun. This is the announcement that I wanted to share with you." The Yondaime was practically beaming. "I'm going to be a father!"

Kakashi blinked, a little stunned. He opened his mouth to reply, but gaping was all he could manage before closing it snap shut. In the back of his mind, a voice was muttering that he needed to learn how to eat with a mask on, because there was no doubt that his cheeks were turning red and it was visible for all the world to see. He tried really hard not to dwell on that. Instead, he focused on getting words out of his gaping mouth. It took a couple more tries of opening and closing his jaws to get his vocal chords to work with it. "Co… congratulations."

Minato-sensei was going to be a father.

Kakashi wasn't really sure what he felt about that. But the couple was exuding happiness and pride so he decided to wrestle with that thought another time. He wracked his brain for something appropriate to say. "What are you going to name him?"

The couple shared a glance that was filled with adoration for each other, and it was Minato-sensei that replied. "Namikaze Naruto."

For the second time during his meal with the Namikazes, Kakashi didn't really know what to say. Fortunately, he was saved from replying because the ramen chef's daughter came out to deliver Kushina her usual. All attention was now focused on the young girl, so Kakashi turned his mind back to his food.

Kakashi tuned out Kushina gushing about how Uchiha Itachi and Ayame should become friends because they were around the same age and were children to some of her most favorite people in the whole wide world, dattebane, in favor of idly examining the swirly fishcake in between his chopsticks. The teen silently bemoaned at the possibility of Konoha having absolutely no talent nor creativity in naming its children.

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A lone grey eye bored its gaze at the name on a single gravestone.

_Nakamura Rin._

The eye didn't shift its gaze as dozens of emotions swept across the charcoal orb. After a long moment of being absolutely still, Hatake Kakashi heaved out a deep sigh.

"Hey Rin, it's been a while."

There was no reply, but Kakashi never expected one.

"Kushina-san's pregnant. Thought you should know. They decided to name the kid Naruto, a testament to Kushina-san's obsession for ramen. You kind of have to feel sorry for the guy."

He was rambling, he knew. But he needed to talk in order to fill up the oppressive silence that only served to remind him that he was a failure. That he was worse than trash.

"Minato-sensei… Minato-sensei asked me to become something of an older brother to Naruto, to look out for him if either Minato-sensei or Kushina-san won't be able to but…"

But his best friend died in order to save his arrogant ass, and all that remained of him was his Sharingan eye. But the person he promised to protect drifted away from him until she died from _his own hands_ and the grave before him was evidence of that. Images of blonde hair, foxy grins and blind eyes flashed through his mind, and Kakashi was scared. What if he failed them and lost them too? He swallowed and fisted his hands until his knuckles bled white, his arms trembling all the while.

"Am I even worthy of creating new bonds?"

There was no reply. There never was.

Kakashi turned on his heel and marched away. The condemning silence was an answer enough.

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"Happy birthday Kakashi-kun!"

Kakashi stared at the small group of people that crowded outside of his apartment door. The two Hokages of Konoha and their wives stood with grins, patiently waiting for the teen to let them in his home. With a sigh, the silver haired boy obliged.

Kakashi hadn't expected them, but he wasn't surprised. It was a long standing tradition of the village for shinobi to celebrate their birthdays with their families. They were monumental occasions because the life expectancy for shinobi wasn't long. Living for another year was a truly tremendous feat, thus birthdays were highly celebrated. It was also the one day of the year that they were treated as humans, and not merely as tools.

Hatake Kakashi didn't have any blood-kin to celebrate his birthday with. But that didn't mean that he didn't have any _family. _Namikaze Minato became family the day he took Kakashi after the night the young boy had found his father's corpse in his own family compound, gutted by his own blade. Sarutobi Hiruzen was the mentor of Kakashi's mentor, and after Minato-sensei became Hokage, the old man had took it upon himself to watch over Kakashi as well, thus he was family too. Their wives became family by extension, but they were just as present in Kakashi's life as their husbands.

"We know that you don't like public places, so we decided to bring the celebration here," his sensei explained, lifting a box that most likely contained a cake. Behind him, Biwako smiled, lifting cartons of food herself. "I hope you're hungry, Kakashi-kun. I cooked up a feast to celebrate this special day."

The boy gave the crowd of four a nod and led them to his dining table. It was small, but the party of five tried their best to ensure that each person was able to fit around it. Kushina helped set up the table while Biwako distributed the food. The three males waited, eagerly anticipating dining on their dinner. Biwako's cooking was truly extraordinary.

Pretty soon, everyone was digging in, elbows jamming everywhere, and participating in amiable conversation. The brunt of the conversation revolved around Kushina's pregnancy. Throughout it all, Kakashi still couldn't decide on what he thought of Minato-sensei having a child.

Once the last bit of food disappeared into everyone's stomachs, Minato-sensei announced that it was time for cake. Kushina got up to turn off the lights, and with a simple Katon (fire) jutsu from Hiruzen, fourteen candles illuminated the dark room.

As his remaining family members sang the traditional birthday song, Kakashi observed the proudly smiling faces highlighted by the candle light and pondered whether or not he truly deserved them. He probably didn't, but he squashed that thought as the song came to a close and he dutifully blew out the candles; the air unhindered by his absent mask. They were the only people in the world that he trusted completely to face them without the cloth covering. After a few moments of clapping and heartfelt congratulations someone got up to turn on the lights back on.

After the room was once again thoroughly lit, the Yondaime pulled something out of his pocket and presented it to the birthday boy, grinning all the while. Although it wasn't unusual to receive gifts during birthdays, Kakashi never expected them. He was a practical kind of guy so he wasn't fond of superficial things and there really wasn't anything that he needed. Shrugging mentally, the teen decided to open the wrapped present, revealing it to be a novel. The words, _The Tale of the Utterly Gutsy Shinobi, _flashed back at him, presenting the book's title.

"Jiraiya-sensei wrote that book," his own teacher explained, "It's really good, despite its apparent unpopularity. I think you'll enjoy it too."

The blonde man bent down to ruffle the teen's silver hair and gave him a grin.

"To be honest, the name of my son was inspired by its hero."

Ah, so the unfortunate name wasn't derived from Kushina's obsession for ramen; instead it was from one of Jiraiya's books. That still didn't make the name any less unfortunate. Not like Kakashi was one to talk.

"I highly recommend this too, Kakashi-kun. It's a good read," Kushina piped in. Beside her, the two elderly were giving assenting nods.

"Yes, Jiraiya had really done an outstanding job with that one," Hiruzen added in his own two cents.

His present wasn't anything practical, but seeing how the four adults genuinely thought that he would enjoy the novel confirmed that it also wasn't superficial. He traced the kanji of the book's title, allowing the feelings of gratitude to wash over him. Kakashi wasn't worthy; really, to have these wonderful people as his family. But maybe he didn't have to be. They were the most powerful people of Konohagakure, and he trusted them to survive the shinobi lifestyle. And he was still nervous about Naruto's birthday because Minato-sensei wanted Naruto to become one of Kakashi's precious people. However, Naruto would be younger, and _weaker_ than Kakashi, and he didn't know if he would ever be strong enough to protect him. But just for today, on _his_ special day, he'll let himself indulge in the presence of his most precious persons.

He clutched his gift a little tighter in his hands.

"Thank you."

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Today was the day. Today was finally the day that Namikaze Kushina was going to give birth to Namikaze Naruto. Since, Kushina was a jinchuruuki, the birthing process was highly dangerous, thus she, Biwako, Minato and a couple of ANBU were carrying out the affair in hiding. Kakashi volunteered to be one of the ANBUs assigned to guard them, but Minato insisted that the teen took the day off. So instead of being with his ex-sensei on one of the most important days of the blonde man's life, Kakashi was here, at the orphanage, and he had no idea why.

He hadn't intended to be there, but when he was forced to take a day vacation, he somehow couldn't stand the oppressive emptiness of his single apartment. There was a sense of anxiety in his gut that he had tried to push away and failed. He didn't know what it was. Maybe it was the fact that Kakashi might be getting an additional member to his ragtag family, or the fact that Kushina was giving birth to a _baby,_ but whatever it was, something compelled him to not want to be alone. So he walked out his apartment window and rooftop hop his way to the orphanage.

After slipping into the infant section of the building, he automatically listened for the sniveling that would lead him to a patch of pink hair. Pink hair that grew minutely longer from the last time he visited.

The sniveling stopped after Kakashi leaned his head over the crib. Immediately, Sakura stopped sniffling and started cooing, reaching her pudgy hands towards Kakashi. The teen was still astonished and a little bit disturbed that Sakura was somehow able to identify him through blind eyes and that after all these months, she _still _recognized him. But unlike last time, he didn't recoil away from her. Leaning his elbow onto the edge of the crib and resting his cheek on his hand, he pondered if there was a possibility that the infant before him might be a chakra sensor while obliging the girl with his index finger of his free hand. Stubbing fingers wrapped around Kakashi's lone digit, and the teen tried to watch the girl play with a forced detachment.

"I wonder why you like me so much," Kakashi whispered.

His response was only a high-pitch giggle, but Kakashi didn't really expect anything else. So he heaved a small sigh and contented himself to just watch the girl amuse herself when –

**BOOM!**

Kakashi whirled around and sprinted out through the window, ignoring the explosion of wailing from _all_ the infants behind him. Before him, civilians were screaming, shinobi were running, and buildings were collapsing; everything just contributing to create a mess of chaos. Suddenly, a wave of the most malicious chakra Kakashi had _ever _sensed flooded through him and he dropped to his knees, gasping in shock and fear. It took a few moments for him to catch his bearings, but shakily he rose to his feet. He pushed his hitai-ate up, allowing his Sharingan to spin freely, and leaped towards the direction of where the malevolent chakra was pouring from.

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There weren't many times Hatake Kakashi was treated as a child. After Kakashi had graduated from the academy at the age of five, his own father had stopped treating him as a boy, but as a ninja. Even though Minato-sensei tried to get the boy to act his own age sometimes, he respected Kakashi's skill and rank enough that he knew not to treat him as such. The other shinobi who at first looked down on him for his age was quickly showed up by Kakashi himself when he outranked them in skill. So, there really weren't many moments when Kakashi felt the limits of his age. But unfortunately, today was one of those very few times.

He had been running towards the malicious chakra when Kakashi was suddenly intercepted by an Uchiha. The police officer had grabbed the teen by the shoulders and informed him that the village was attacked by the _Kyuubi no Yoko_ of all things. Kakashi almost didn't believe him, but he was able to feel the slight tremor in the Uchiha's grip and the Sharingan in the older man's eyes were spinning erratically out of fear. The police officer then relayed the Sandaime's creed that all civilians and all children were to hide within the Hokage Monument.

Kakashi was uncomfortable that he was bound by law to hide instead of being out there to fight. He had probably outranked that Uchiha officer, being ANBU and all, but he couldn't disobey the Hokage's decree. So he was stuck inside the Hokage Monument watching over the civilian and other children ninja such as himself.

From the fidgets that the other underaged shinobi were giving off, Kakashi could tell that the rest of them felt as uncomfortable as he did. One of them, Yuuhi Kurenai, if he recalled correctly from memory, was even arguing with one of the adult chaperons. Kakashi sighed and ran his hand through his silver strands. The atmosphere was oppressive; all the shinobi inside the monument were agitated and nervous, even the loud mouthed Maito Gai who was standing right beside him. The civilians were practically radiating off fear, and most of them were even crying. Kakashi hated this, but there was nothing he could do.

Looking over the civilians, Kakashi wondered if Sakura had survived. Before Kakashi had even arrived at the Hokage Monument, the carnage from the demon's attacks was escalating. The attacks from the Juubi were monstrous: buildings collapsed, areas of the village's surrounding forests were leveled, and death didn't discriminate, not caring if it stole the lives of shinobi or civilians, adults or children. With Obito's Sharingan eye imprinting all of these images, Kakashi knew that he was going to have nightmares for months, maybe years. A feeling of dread coiled around his stomach at the possibility of Sakura being one of the many victims of the massacre. He tried to stamp it down, because there was no way he was starting to develop some kind of attachment to her.

"Where are you going?" Konoha's own Green Beast called out to his Eternal Rival when he noticed Kakashi walking towards the massive collection of civilians.

Kakashi gave Gai a one shouldered shrug. He didn't really know; he was just walking around aimlessly, just to satisfy his curiosity if the rosette infant was still alive.

_It's just curiosity, nothing more. _He tried to convince himself by repeating the line over and over again in his head like a mantra. But the coil of dread that was slowly transforming into a snake the longer he couldn't find Sakura was telling him otherwise. Kakashi was trying his best to ignore it, along with the eye-blinding green unitard wearing teen that was trailing after him.

He spotted the familiar face of the orphanage's matron and immediately made his way over to her. The aging woman seemed extremely overwhelmed on having the responsibility of assuring the safety of at least fifty bawling children, even with her few assistants.

Deciding that he suddenly took pity on the poor orphanage workers, Kakashi threw a glance at his Eternal Rival over his shoulder.

"Hey Gai… Are you up for a challenge?"

Immediately, Gai's eyes lit up in excitement with a hint of disbelief. Kakashi didn't blame him. It wasn't everyday that Kakashi initiated the challenges between them, and the middle of the Kyuubi's rampage was probably not the best time. But Kakashi knew that Gai had taken the bait as a very shiny grin that was just a bit lackluster due to the circumstances, started to form on the Green Beast's face.

"What is it, my Eternal Rival? Name anything, for I am sure to win!"

Looking away from Gai's nice guy pose and staring pointedly at the orphans, Kakashi answered, "How about a contest involving these orphans? The one who could get the most amount of these kids to stop crying, wins. So, what do you say?"

There was a brief pause where tears were starting to form in Gai's intense eyes, and Kakashi was just starting to regret his decision. But there was a very audible _ping_ from Gai's reformed shiny grin and his Eternal Rival was shaking his hand.

"Indeed, Kakashi! You are a worthy rival! Your desire to stop the tears of these children in this time of peril makes me want to cry at the beauty of your heart! I accept your youthful challenge!"

"Ah, thanks Gai…" Kakashi uttered as he tried to extract his hand from Gai's exuberantly shaking grip. "Let's get started right away."

"Yosh!"

With a final exclamation, the green clad teen ran towards the orphans. Kakashi took his own sweet time, not particularly interested in any of the crying kids except for one. As soon as he saw a patch of pink, he released the breath he didn't realize that he was holding. Resigned, he realized despite himself, he might've gotten attached to the rosette anyway.

Just like the other infants around her, Sakura was wailing loudly on the floor. There weren't enough hands for all the infants to be carried, and there was neither time nor muscle to bring along their cradles to the Hokage Monument. At least she had a blanket.

Sighing, Kakashi bent down and scooped Sakura into his arms. He was holding her awkwardly, he knew, because this was unfamiliar territory for him. It had been at least five months since the last time he had held her. But he knew that she didn't mind. Almost immediately, she stopped crying as soon as she realized who he was.

One down, at least forty-nine more to go. But Kakashi didn't care about the other kids or the competition, and he wasn't sure if Gai could make at least one kid stop crying. He had a pretty scary face, and even scarier eyebrows, and he mentally apologized to the orphanage staff for giving them more work, but he couldn't really bring himself to care.

Sakura was alive, and for some inane reason, she genuinely _liked_ him, and maybe, just maybe, after this whole ordeal is over, he'll allow himself to form a bond with her. And the thought of being an older brother to Namikaze Naruto no longer felt so daunting either.

"It's okay, Sakura, it's okay," Kakashi murmered, "We'll get through this, you'll see."

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For the third time in his life, Hatake Kakashi was crying. To be honest, all of Konoha must be grieving, but Kakashi was mourning before Konohagakure's cenotaph alone. Yet the heavy rain around him signified that the heavens were weeping too.

His family was dead. Minato-sensei, Kushina, Biwako, and even baby _Naruto_ was dead. Dead before Kakashi even had the chance to meet the guy. Dead before he could even say goodbye to any of them. His most precious persons were dead, and once again, Hatake Kakashi was too _weak_ to have saved them.

Tears were streaming down his face, mixing with the onslaught of rain. Mucus from his nose and mouth was filling up his mask, making it difficult to breathe, but he didn't care. His discomfort was _nothing_ compared to the torturous ache in his chest that just wouldn't go away, no matter how loudly he wailed.

"Why," he gasped out. He screwed his eyes shut, but the tears wouldn't stop. "Why did you all have to leave me?"

The question made his sobs come out harder, his body convulsing as the grief racked into the very edges of his soul. He pressed his forehead to the stone of the memorial, but it brought no relief, no comfort. His throat constricted tightly, disabling him from talking any further. But that didn't stop him from forming soundless forlorn questions with his mouth.

_ Why did you have to leave me behind? Why did you have to leave me _alone_?_

A whimper came below him, and Kakashi immediately stilled. He looked down and was momentarily surprised to see a tuft of pink. He had forgotten that he was still carrying Sakura. As soon as the doors of the Hokage Monument were open, Kakashi left straight away to assess the damage and to see if the Namikaze family made it out alright. In his haste, he had forgotten to return Sakura back to the orphanage's matron.

When he arrived at the cave where Kushina was supposed to be hidden, he was greeted by the horrific sight of the corpses of Biwako and the other ANBU that was supposed to guard the Namikazes. He wasn't able to find the bodies of the Namikazes though, so he had desperately searched for them until he was found by Hiruzen. It was the Sandaime that had informed the young teen that his successor and his family were dead. After that, Kakashi's memory became hazy as the only thing he remembered were tears and the desperation to go to Konoha's memorial. He must've carried Sakura this whole time.

After realizing that Kakashi had been mourning in Sakura's presence, he valiantly tried to stop crying. _Law of Shinobi #5: A Shinobi must never show their tears._ Even if the other party is an infant, or blind, or both. It didn't matter. Shinobi doesn't show their tears to _anyone_. But as soon as Sakura's tiny hand reached up and lightly patted Kakashi's tear stained cheek, he knew that he was fighting a losing a battle.

The slight human contact renewed the sobs, and Kakashi found himself crying once more. But he wasn't alone. Sakura was crying too, with him, for him, he honestly didn't know, and didn't care. Because strangely, having someone cry beside him while he was crying, whether it was out of empathy or not, brought a small amount of relief to his aching heart.

"Sakura," he rasped. It was the first time he said her name after he had christened her, and Kakashi screwed his eyes shut as more tears poured out because he knew that he was damning himself to even more pain in the future. But at this moment, with the only people he had ever allowed himself to love dead and gone, he knew that he needed someone, anyone, even if it was just for a little while.

He cradled the pink-haired infant into his chest a little tighter. He was a damned damned damned man, and he didn't deserve any kind of bond with her, and he'll probably regret this later in the future, and by associating her with him, he was probably already signing her death warrant, but just for today, he didn't care; he wanted to be selfish, even if he had no right to.

"Sakura, don't you dare leave me too."

And the rosette giggled, out of all replies. She _giggled._ And as Kakashi stared at her mirthful face with puffy mismatched eyes, a weak chuckle escaped him too. It was ridiculous. There was nothing to laugh about. The village was in ruins, a Hokage had died, his most precious people were dead, and here he was, laughing with a rose-haired baby in front of a cenotaph like there wasn't a care in the world. But it was awfully cathartic after his session of mourning, and as he held onto Sakura all the more tighter into his chest, he let himself believe for that moment, that maybe, just _maybe_everything will be alright.

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Author's Note: I DIDN'T KILL NARUTO! Or did I? I guess you'll just have to read the next chapter to find out~

Anyway, this chapter was a pain to write. It was so looong, and to be honest, I'm not sure if that would be a standard. Chapters for this story will vary in length, and updates will be sporadic, but I will try my best to make them quick. Now on to this chapter, it was very emotion heavy, I hope. And I apologize for the birthday scene. That was the hardest section for me to write, and I apologize if it came out stilted, forced or awkward. Yea, I'm not so proud of it either.

I also apologize for the long author notes that I tend to, and will most likely continue to write. I love reading the author's notes on other stories because I love to see their insight on their own story, or their thought process, struggles, ect. But I know that not everyone is like that so feel free to just skip to the actual portion of the story when they tend to get long. But I will try my best to keep the author's notes relevant to the story.

To be honest, I have a vague outline or ideas that I already want to implement into this story, but other than that, it's pretty much write as I go. I would love to hear your guys' ideas, insights, opinions, or hopes for this story, and who knows. If it strikes my fancy or if it fits, I might stick them into this fic. So please review! I would love to hear your guy's thoughts! Thanks! And until next time~


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